Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
