the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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