Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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