Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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