i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
