So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize