so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
