Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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