you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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