We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
