hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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