Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
