Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
