Cold hands, warm shart.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
