I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
