"it" just moved
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
