My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
