Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
