God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
