There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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