You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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