You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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