I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
