Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
