Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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