6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize