my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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