You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
