She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
