I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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