our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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