PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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