When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
