she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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