Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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