So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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