im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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