she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i permit you to call me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
