Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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