If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
