your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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