I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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