Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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