drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
tell me about the fingering
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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