How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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