I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
