dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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