I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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