She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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