Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
