I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
