im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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