Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
