He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
