they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
