I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
