I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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