Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
