and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
