my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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